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Men who say they want a black wife but don’t honor her unique place within the intersectionality of race and gender. From perpetuating stereotypes of the angry black woman or the baby mama and its use to justify why black men date white women to relegating the black woman’s identity to what’s between her thighs rather than what’s between her ears.It’s something we see and hear far too often in hip-hop and popular culture. Those men should not only be celebrated but should be a shining example of the beauty in truly having your sista’s back.While out for brunch in Harlem, I was stumped when said guy went on an unprovoked rant about black women’s hair.“This natural hair movement is getting on my damn nerves… ” he said, referring to several women in the restaurant who were rocking their natural tresses.Not wanting to cause an argument, I disengaged the one-sided debate and kept my frustrations to myself.I was so caught off guard by his ignorance, and quite honestly, I was not in the mood to school a grown ass man about why his words were problematic.
Prior to this encounter, I had never experienced another black gay man who had such vitriolic feelings about black women. ” Very rarely are black gay men included in conversations of misogynoir and the sometimes volatile relationship between black men and black women.
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